Surferspeak is Awesome

God damnit surfer dudes are awesome. Before moving to LA, I wanted to find this guy and be his best friend. I wasn’t in Venice for more than ten minutes before I ran into a dude in the parking lot of the library, no shoes and long ratty hair, that I could tell said stuff like “gnarly” on a regular basis. These guys are everywhere. I’m too much of a pussy to actually learn how to surf, but I can at least learn how to speak like them. And this video is a perfect example of what I hope to become. At this point, I have no idea what the hell this guy is saying. I think he’s talking about magically banging a chick inside of a wave. But with a little practice, I hope to say something as cool as this shit and actually know what I’m talking about:

“When she gets on do a little fade, too. [grunt] A little fade look-down and look at her, like, ass.”

“Her butt’s right there and you’re looking at it, not even looking at the wave just like, ‘Hooooooooooooo!’ and then boom you just go from that butt to just crystal clear, like, prettiest wave in the world and you’re just like, ‘Oh my.’”

“Let the lip, boom, fall over you and then you’re just like in there with the chick and you can’t say what you’re doing with her in the barrel because it’s so secret.”

“So you’re with the chick in the barrel and you’re just getting pitted, pitted over a couple foam balls. Even a foam ball in front so you can’t even see what we’re doing. And then boom when we come out of the barrel, I want my pants to be on my head.”

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